Someone has died, the service is in a few days, and you want flowers there on time with a card that sounds like you. Three things go wrong most often: the flowers go to the wrong place, they arrive after the service, or the card says nothing the family can use. All three are easy to avoid once you know what to check first.
The short version
- Check the obituary for “in lieu of flowers” or “donations preferred”. If it says so, follow it.
- Choose where to send: the funeral home for a public visitation or service, the family’s home for a private service or for the days afterward.
- Get the full name of the person who died, the date and time of the service, and the funeral home’s address.
- Order at least a day ahead. Flowers should arrive before the visitation or service starts.
- Write two or three plain sentences on the card and sign with your full name and how you knew them.
Step one: find out whether flowers are wanted
The obituary or the funeral home’s page usually says. “In lieu of flowers” means the family has asked for donations or for nothing at all, and taking it at face value is the respectful choice.
Customs also differ by faith and community. Flowers are traditionally not part of an Orthodox Jewish funeral, where donations in the person’s name are the usual gesture. Many Muslim families likewise prefer prayer and food to floral tributes. Flowers are welcome at most Christian services and at Hindu ones, where white is the usual color. If you are not sure, ask a mutual friend or the funeral home. Asking is normal.
Where to send them
- The funeral home or service location. Best for a public visitation, wake or service. The flowers are displayed there and the family sees who sent what. Call the funeral home first and ask whether they accept flowers, when the delivery door is staffed, and whether the service is in that building or at a church.
- The family’s home. Better for a private service, for a cremation with no ceremony, or when you cannot find service details. It is also the kinder choice in the week after, when the calls and visits stop.
- The church or cemetery chapel. Only when the funeral home tells you the flowers should go there.
Whichever you pick, the florist needs the full name of the person who died, the name and address of the place, the date and time of the visitation or service, and a phone number for you in case something does not add up on the day.
When they need to arrive
Flowers should be at the funeral home before the visitation or service begins, not during it. Order at least a day ahead when you can. If the service is tomorrow morning, order today.
Our same-day cutoff is 1:00 pm Eastern Time, Monday to Saturday, and 11:00 am on Sunday. After the cutoff you choose the next day as the delivery date, which works for a service the day after. Put the service time in the order so nobody has to guess.
What to write on the card
Keep it short. The family will read dozens of cards, and the ones that land are plain and specific, which is easy to do. A good card acknowledges the loss, adds one true detail if you have it, and asks nothing of the reader.
- “With deepest sympathy. Thinking of you and your family.”
- “I am so sorry about your mother. She was the first person to make me feel welcome at work, and I will not forget it.”
- “We are holding you all in our thoughts this week.” (From a group, a team or a neighborhood.)
- “Please accept our sincere condolences.” (When you did not know the person well.)
Sign with your full name and how you knew them: “Karen Miller, Tom’s neighbor on Maple Street”. Families rarely recognize a first name alone on a card.
What to avoid. “He is in a better place” and “at least she lived a long life” land badly unless you are sure of their beliefs. “Let me know if you need anything” puts the work back on the family, so offer something specific instead: “I will bring dinner on Thursday. No need to reply.” Skip long religious quotations when you do not know their faith, and do not leave the card unsigned.
Which flowers
White is the traditional color for sympathy: white roses, carnations, chrysanthemums, with soft pink or cream alongside. It is a convention, not a rule, and a family’s favorite color is a good choice too.
One point worth being clear about. Casket sprays and standing wreaths are ordered through the funeral home or the florist it works with. We deliver bouquets and arrangements: right for the visitation table, the reception afterward, or the family’s home. Our sympathy flowers range from $74 to $213 and are mostly white, from Snow White Fantasy in carnations and alstroemerias to 25 White Roses. 11 White Roses is a quiet, easy choice.
The mistakes that cost the most
- Sending to the wrong place. The obituary may list a funeral home, a church and a family address. Send to the one where the flowers will be seen, and confirm it.
- Leaving out the full name. A funeral home can receive a dozen deliveries in a day. “Flowers for Smith” will not find the right family.
- Arriving after the service. Flowers that turn up at the end go home with someone or into storage, and the family does not see the card.
- Ignoring “no flowers”. It is the one instruction in the obituary that matters most.
- A blank or long card. Two or three sentences and a name is enough.
Three situations
You live out of town. You do not need to travel for the flowers to be there. Order online, send to the funeral home, and put the service time in the order.
A coworker’s parent has died. One arrangement from the team is better than several small ones. Sign the card from the whole team, and send it to whichever address the obituary lists.
You missed the service. Send flowers to the family’s home a few days later with a line such as “I am sorry I could not be there”. Many families say the week after is the hardest, and a delivery then is remembered.
When to contact us instead of ordering online
- The service is today or tomorrow morning and you are not sure the flowers will make it
- You cannot find the funeral home’s address, or the name matches more than one location
- You want to confirm that the family has not asked for no flowers
Use the contact page and we will talk it through before you order.
Questions people ask
Do I have to send flowers to a funeral?
No. A card, a call, a meal or a donation all count, and when the family asks for no flowers they are the right choice.
Can I send flowers after the funeral?
Yes. Weeks or even months later is fine, and often more welcome than a delivery in the middle of the service.
How much should I spend?
There is no expected amount. Our sympathy bouquets start at $74, and the card matters more than the size.
Can flowers reach a funeral home in Atlanta the same day?
Yes, inside our delivery area, when you order before the cutoff. Call the funeral home to confirm it accepts deliveries at that hour.
Sending funeral flowers in Atlanta
We deliver across Atlanta and the surrounding suburbs for a flat $12, with same-day delivery for orders placed before 1:00 pm Eastern Time. Pick a bouquet from the sympathy collection, add the details above, and write the card from the examples above.